Although I can see why a congregation might feel a need for such a system and can even follow the ratiocination that got them there, I gotta say that not all congregations are like that. I know that it wasn't the case at the congregation where my kids got bar mitzvahed (because at that congregation they weren't much into attending services), nor is it true at the congregation where my wife and I as empty nesters have been attending in our own occasional way (which, as it happens, our kids also enjoy attending when in town).
So, the message here may be that there is diversity not just in Jewish ritual, but in ways that people see themselves as part of that ritual (or try to force others to participate in same). Time to check out other congregations in your area, or perhaps even get together with some like-minded friends and start your own (or do as friends of mine did who started a chavurah, a smaller, less formal meeting).
Although I can see why a congregation might feel a need for such a system and can even follow the ratiocination that got them there, I gotta say that not all congregations are like that. I know that it wasn't the case at the congregation where my kids got bar mitzvahed (because at that congregation they weren't much into attending services), nor is it true at the congregation where my wife and I as empty nesters have been attending in our own occasional way (which, as it happens, our kids also enjoy attending when in town).
So, the message here may be that there is diversity not just in Jewish ritual, but in ways that people see themselves as part of that ritual (or try to force others to participate in same). Time to check out other congregations in your area, or perhaps even get together with some like-minded friends and start your own (or do as friends of mine did who started a chavurah, a smaller, less formal meeting).