These are great examples, and the fact that you can come up with so many from your own experience speaks to my point of how widespread a phenomenon this is (as well as to the leadership of you and your family). I agree that this is generally how change happens, not by leaders giving up their power, but often when leaders *do* make some changes, they are celebrated as if they've done something remarkably creative and generous, and the fact that they probably never would have done so of their own accord is never mentioned, nor are the real innovators cited.
Your point about the Kagan story being an example of a lose-lose situation is right-on. The story is reported as if the fact that she is no longer Orthodox and that her family eventually left to join West End Synagogue is entirely unconnected to her bat mitzvah experience. On the flip side, my own family's synagogue in New Haven has benefited immeasurably from the influx of Orthodox families with daughters who are looking for a place where they can have a meaningful bat mitzvah experience.
These are great examples, and the fact that you can come up with so many from your own experience speaks to my point of how widespread a phenomenon this is (as well as to the leadership of you and your family). I agree that this is generally how change happens, not by leaders giving up their power, but often when leaders *do* make some changes, they are celebrated as if they've done something remarkably creative and generous, and the fact that they probably never would have done so of their own accord is never mentioned, nor are the real innovators cited.
Your point about the Kagan story being an example of a lose-lose situation is right-on. The story is reported as if the fact that she is no longer Orthodox and that her family eventually left to join West End Synagogue is entirely unconnected to her bat mitzvah experience. On the flip side, my own family's synagogue in New Haven has benefited immeasurably from the influx of Orthodox families with daughters who are looking for a place where they can have a meaningful bat mitzvah experience.