It has always bothered me that our Rabbi's demonized Vashti instead of teaching young girls that they don't have to do everything they are commanded..Rather than saying Hashem prevented Vashti from appearing and making way for Esther, they should have been teaching that Vashti refused to appear before a group of drunk men to prove her beauty "wearing her crown." Should young girls be taught they must obey their husband regardless of the request? Women do not have to submit to sexual advances of their husband. Both Esther and Vashti teach women to stand up for themselves.

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