I mourn my own loss of heritage, in that both my maternal grandparents were descended from tribes native to North America that were ushered across the continent by hostile conquering Europeans. To escape forcible encampment on nonproductive land, they hid in the hills in what is now known as the Ozarks of Arkansas and Missouri. The only oral history I have - beyond the stories of how strongly my mother was chastised for even asking about her native linage and the warnings that they would be rounded up and forced to move, even as late as the 40Ì¢âÂã¢s - is a charming story of how our family came to be both Crow and Blackfoot Ì¢âÂÛÏ having to do with Tornado Ally and an erstwhile treaty of necessity to allow encampment on opposing sides of a river bank - that always ended with the conclusion of tornado season. The stories about keeping their race secret remind me of Mosaic, in which the author speaks of her life during the reign of HitlerÌ¢âÂã¢s Third Reich, and how her family Ì¢âÂÒpassedÌ¢âÂå for catholic and how much of her heritage she lost as a result of that. As I type this I am looking at a picture of my grandparents, my own mother as an infant and her two older sisters. They are sitting on the running board of a WPA truck looking like a scene from the Grapes of Wrath Ì¢âÂÛÏ barefoot, clean but poor. The 19 year old mother of three looks thin, exhausted and pretty darn white (sheÌ¢âÂã¢s Cherokee) Ì¢âÂÛÏ the fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s dark complexion and hooked nose could, I suppose, pass for Armenian, maybe Italian... but only if you were willing to cross your eyes and pretend not to notice (again reminiscent of Mosaic). Like many children who were forced to pretend they were Christian, they never reclaimed their tribal affiliation and were lost to the tribe, and consequently, the tribe was lost to their children and their childrenÌ¢âÂã¢s children. I feel that loss as a hole in my soul, almost physically palpable.
Anyway, all that above is background to my need to keep my youngest daughter from being disconnected from her birthright and heritage. Both sides of her fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s family came from Odessa, Russia; one came to this land through Ellis Island, the other through Seattle. Their offspring met in Chicago and married. I will not deny my daughter the richness of her heritage.
I have studied the faith and the traditions of Judaism and I believe that it is more pantheistic than monotheistic Ì¢âÂÛÏ which reflects and incorporates my own religious views. I am drawn to finding a way to keep my earth-based traditions that I have newly reclaimed from my mother and my fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s familial lines that meet my spiritual needs and seek conversion to become fully recognized as being Jewish (well, at least by some) - to establish a single identity for our family and further empower my daughter to claim all that she is by birth.
Any suggestions on finding a Rabbi who wouldnÌ¢âÂã¢t run screaming away at this notion?
I mourn my own loss of heritage, in that both my maternal grandparents were descended from tribes native to North America that were ushered across the continent by hostile conquering Europeans. To escape forcible encampment on nonproductive land, they hid in the hills in what is now known as the Ozarks of Arkansas and Missouri. The only oral history I have - beyond the stories of how strongly my mother was chastised for even asking about her native linage and the warnings that they would be rounded up and forced to move, even as late as the 40Ì¢âÂã¢s - is a charming story of how our family came to be both Crow and Blackfoot Ì¢âÂÛÏ having to do with Tornado Ally and an erstwhile treaty of necessity to allow encampment on opposing sides of a river bank - that always ended with the conclusion of tornado season. The stories about keeping their race secret remind me of Mosaic, in which the author speaks of her life during the reign of HitlerÌ¢âÂã¢s Third Reich, and how her family Ì¢âÂÒpassedÌ¢âÂå for catholic and how much of her heritage she lost as a result of that. As I type this I am looking at a picture of my grandparents, my own mother as an infant and her two older sisters. They are sitting on the running board of a WPA truck looking like a scene from the Grapes of Wrath Ì¢âÂÛÏ barefoot, clean but poor. The 19 year old mother of three looks thin, exhausted and pretty darn white (sheÌ¢âÂã¢s Cherokee) Ì¢âÂÛÏ the fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s dark complexion and hooked nose could, I suppose, pass for Armenian, maybe Italian... but only if you were willing to cross your eyes and pretend not to notice (again reminiscent of Mosaic). Like many children who were forced to pretend they were Christian, they never reclaimed their tribal affiliation and were lost to the tribe, and consequently, the tribe was lost to their children and their childrenÌ¢âÂã¢s children. I feel that loss as a hole in my soul, almost physically palpable.
Anyway, all that above is background to my need to keep my youngest daughter from being disconnected from her birthright and heritage. Both sides of her fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s family came from Odessa, Russia; one came to this land through Ellis Island, the other through Seattle. Their offspring met in Chicago and married. I will not deny my daughter the richness of her heritage.
I have studied the faith and the traditions of Judaism and I believe that it is more pantheistic than monotheistic Ì¢âÂÛÏ which reflects and incorporates my own religious views. I am drawn to finding a way to keep my earth-based traditions that I have newly reclaimed from my mother and my fatherÌ¢âÂã¢s familial lines that meet my spiritual needs and seek conversion to become fully recognized as being Jewish (well, at least by some) - to establish a single identity for our family and further empower my daughter to claim all that she is by birth.
Any suggestions on finding a Rabbi who wouldnÌ¢âÂã¢t run screaming away at this notion?