You have some interesting questions - I think the questions that I have are less about the "should I or shouldn't I have a domestic worker," but more about what are considered fair employment practices. Domestic workers, unlike other workers, are not protected by most labor laws, and they are therefore at the whim of their employer. If you live in New York City, you can get involved in the "Shalom Bayit: Justice for Domestic Workers" campaign going on right now at Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (JFREJ). Included in that first link is a list of resources for employers, which includes, among others, a document called "Best Employment Practice" and a sample contract. I recommend checking it out!

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