My daughter is turning 14 this week. Starting when she was two until she was ten she loved playing dress-up with the frilliest clothes imaginable. Sometimes she would change her clothes 3 times a day. This has always struck me as healthy and fun for her.
I have always believed that young people are very smart about play. They are experimenting with different roles and trying out different ways of being. I try to communicate delight with all the children in my life as they play and follow their own minds (except when they are hurting themselves or others).
As a teenager my daughter is still experimenting with how she dresses. Sometimes she is in open rebellion with my feminist ideas. She clearly wants to figure this out for herself. At the very same time she wants my approval. I have learned through some painful experience that it helps our relationship and her when I approve of her choices in dress and everything else. I try to do that most of the time. IÌ¢âÂã¢ve learned that my words are more effective if spoken less.
One exception that turned out ok--I told her when she wore a very low-cut blouse, that boys would get confused about her, because they have a difficult time thinking when they see breasts. They would be less likely to see her as the real her, and instead they would only see her boobs. My daughter had a good laugh about this.
Sometimes when I overhear my daughter talking with her friends, she points out how certain songs on the radio are dehumanizing to women. I'm pretty confident that she'll be okay.
My daughter is turning 14 this week. Starting when she was two until she was ten she loved playing dress-up with the frilliest clothes imaginable. Sometimes she would change her clothes 3 times a day. This has always struck me as healthy and fun for her.
I have always believed that young people are very smart about play. They are experimenting with different roles and trying out different ways of being. I try to communicate delight with all the children in my life as they play and follow their own minds (except when they are hurting themselves or others).
As a teenager my daughter is still experimenting with how she dresses. Sometimes she is in open rebellion with my feminist ideas. She clearly wants to figure this out for herself. At the very same time she wants my approval. I have learned through some painful experience that it helps our relationship and her when I approve of her choices in dress and everything else. I try to do that most of the time. IÌ¢âÂã¢ve learned that my words are more effective if spoken less.
One exception that turned out ok--I told her when she wore a very low-cut blouse, that boys would get confused about her, because they have a difficult time thinking when they see breasts. They would be less likely to see her as the real her, and instead they would only see her boobs. My daughter had a good laugh about this.
Sometimes when I overhear my daughter talking with her friends, she points out how certain songs on the radio are dehumanizing to women. I'm pretty confident that she'll be okay.