I first heard this joke several years ago - and the diners were simply Jews - not Jewish mothers. I'd be curious about how the misogyny crept in.

But in both cases, there is nothing said about the diners being loud. The implication is, rather, that they are hyper-critical. Hyper-vigilance, a quality taken on by any oppressed group that wants to survive - being obsessively critical is a domesticated variant. It's not that we see the glass as half-empty -- we see the smudges on the glass! It's part of a collective post traumatic stress syndrome that many of us can't let go of the vigilance, even when the coast is clear.

As with all Jewish jokes, if others laugh at it, it smacks of stereotyping; if we laugh, it is a laughter of self-recognition. The daughter of a German-Jewish refugee, I indeed laughed.

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