The conversation around Jewish identity is fraught. Many Jews, even those who consider themselves secular, follow the Jewish law and convention that one must be born to a Jewish mother, or undergo an Orthodox conversion, in order to be considered Jewish. 

What complicates matters is that Judaism isn't a straightforward religion—it's an ethno-religion, a belief system that is tied to multiple ethnic groups (e.g. Sephardi, Ashkenazi, Mizrahi). Someone can strongly identify as Jewish and have Jewish ancestry, without being born to a Jewish mother.

I fall into this category. I am a patrilineal Sephardic Jew; my family emigrated to the United States from Turkey and spoke Ladino. When I was 25 years old, I went through a Conservative conversion and immersed myself in a mikveh. I have confirmed through genetic testing that ethnically, I am Sephardic Jewish. In fact, I am more vulnerable to genetic diseases common in Turkish Jews, such as Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. But because I didn’t undergo an Orthodox conversion, I am still not considered Jewish according to halakha. 

I accept that this unlikely to change. But that doesn't mean patrilineal Jews should be treated as pariahs. We shouldn't be called “goys” or “gentiles," terms that I have been subjected to repeatedly. I've seen similar treatment online—for example, in comments to Instagram posts by Marielle Israel, a patrilineal Jewish content creator, such as “womp womp ur a goy” and “not Jewish.”

When I’ve responded that Hitler would have persecuted me too, I’ve been told that “Nazis don’t determine who is Jewish.” One yeshiva graduate told me Judaism was just a religion and that I was confused about my identity. That's the same ideology being used to discount antisemitism on the left, as discussed by David Baddiel in his book Jews Don’t Count. It’s also something I’ve been told by people on the alt-right—that Judaism is just a religion. 

I never thought I’d see the same types of comments about Jewish identity from the far left, far right, and even from some Jews—but here we are. 

I’ve also been referred to as “a convert." This might seem kinder, but it completely disregards my Sephardic heritage. 

Patrilineal Jews experience the same antisemitism as other Jews. In fact, my mother's father disowned her for marrying a Jew. I never met him; I was too Jewish for him, even though I was not Jewish enough for my own people. I’ve also been told that “Hitler was right” by strangers online and by people I knew personally. 

We need to look no further than recent current events to see these toxic attitudes playing out. Born to a Jewish father, Israeli diplomat Yaron Lischinsky was murdered in an antisemitic attack that also killed his girlfriend Sarah Milgrim outside the Capital Jewish Museum in Washington, DC. After his death, he was labeled as Christian by some commenters on social media, despite identifying as Jewish. Halacha did not save Yaron. 

 As David Baddiel writes in his book, “Antisemitism has very little to do with religion… Racists who don’t like Jews never ask the Jew they are abusing how often they go to synagogue.” 

Patrilineal Jews bear the same historical trauma as other Jews, too. Many of us have stories of family members who were murdered in the Holocaust and other persecutions. Many of my cousins in Greece were murdered by the Nazis. 

Sometimes it feels like I’m staring through a looking glass.

Like when I am taking care of my elderly Jewish father and his sister, when I’m hit with the sinking realization that even though I’m their descendant, I am not considered part of their tribe as my birthright. Is my family even my family? The heritage that should rightfully be mine is not mine. The stories of my Sephardi ancestors that my aunt passed down to me are not my own. I don’t know who I am if I am not a Jew. Sometimes when I look at my dad and aunt I feel like an imposter. Like I shouldn’t even exist.

I understand adherence to the letter of the law is important to some Jews. I just wish people would have a more nuanced perspective. For example, patrilineal Jews can be considered the seeds of Israel, Zera Israel. This is a legal category in halakha used to define those who are blood descendants of Jews, yet are still not legally considered Jewish. By calling us Zera Israel, you are at least reaffirming our connection to the Jewish people.

 We should also re-consider conversion practices. Orthodox religious authorities should consider non-Orthodox conversions as legitimate for those who are Zera Israel. I shouldn’t have to undergo an Orthodox conversion to be included in the tribe that I’m already ethnically a part of, especially when I myself am not Orthodox. Non-Orthodox Jews are still Jewish, regardless of how they uphold or view Jewish law.

People's Jewish upbringing should also be factored in. For example, why should patrilineal Jews be required to convert if they grew up going to Hebrew school, underwent circumcision, in the case of boys, and had a bar or bat mitzvah? Shouldn’t this commitment to Jewish education and community be enough?

To say otherwise is to tell patrilineal Jews that they don't count. This stings, especially when you consider that someone who is completely non-practicing is immediately accepted as Jewish, as long as they're born to a Jewish mother. 

 It's also important to remember that intermarriage is common in the US, and not all partners convert to Judaism. That means there will be more Zera Israel like me in future generations. Wouldn’t it make sense, as part of Jewish continuity, to bring patrilineal Jews into the community instead of casting them away as gentiles? If not, one of the modern day consequences we will face is the loss of many Jewish bloodlines. 

When discussing my identity, what should I say? I’m genetically Jewish. I’ve been a student intern for both Hillel and the American Sephardi Federation while in school. My last name is Danon, a common Sephardi surname. I look like my Sephardi father. I went through a conversion and immersed myself in the mikveh. I lost family in the Holocaust. I experience antisemitism. But according to many, I am still not a Jew. Who am I, then? 

In loving memory of my aunt, Estelle Danon, 1926 - 2025.