Sarah Groustra sat down with Mia Sherin, sex and dating writer, to discuss her career and journey to embracing her sexuality. Mia's work has been published in Elite Daily, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Bustle, and more. She also publishes a Substack titled Railed, a space dedicated to celebrating and dissecting the complicated world of sexual women.

Sarah Groustra: Your writing about sex and dating has appeared in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, and Bustle. What inspired you to pursue this type of journalism?

Mia Sherin: Growing up, I had a lot of curiosity around sex. I had questions I didn’t know how to ask and feelings I didn’t know how to describe. But I kept it all inside because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Sexual thoughts and feelings weren’t just private—they were wrong. But as I got older, my curiosity didn’t fade; it grew, and conversations with my girlfriends made me realize that my sexuality wasn’t something to be ashamed of. In fact, when it was brought out into the open, it could be empowering. From that point on, I knew that my dream would be to write about sex. I could be someone to help answer those questions that my younger self was afraid to ask, and show women that there’s nothing shameful about being sexual.

SG: You also write a newsletter called Railed, where you write candid essays about your own sex life and dating experiences. How do you get comfortable sharing these vulnerable stories, especially since the subject has been taboo for women for so long?

MS: At the beginning, it was really scary. I remember in college, I published an op-ed about Tinder in our school’s newspaper, and I was so worried that the guy I liked would see it and judge me for it. But over time, publishing my personal stories has felt less like bearing my soul and more like talking to close friends, because I’ve found this awesome community on Substack that I feel like really gets me. And when a reader reaches out to let me know that one of my stories made them feel seen or less alone—that’s what makes me feel confident sharing, because I know why I’m doing it, and I know who my audience is. And frankly, “that guy I like” isn’t a part of it anymore.

SG: Your newsletter also hosts anonymous Q&A sessions. Have any questions surprised you, or challenged you to think about sex and love in a different way? 

MS: When I started writing about sex professionally, I was in a very cynical place when it came to men—AKA, I wasn’t their biggest fan. The men I dated would continuously let me down, the men in charge of our country left me generally disgusted, and I was beginning to feel like there were just too many bad apples in the bunch. But since starting my Q&A sessions, I’ve been so pleasantly surprised by the men who write in. They have incredibly genuine questions about how to be better partners and people—both in the bedroom and in the world. It’s left me with hope for the state of humanity but also for my own love life…maybe there’s a great guy out there for me after all.

SG: What advice would you give to someone who wants to get more comfortable talking about their sexuality? 

MS: Turn to your most enthusiastic friends—the ones who will always hype you up, who never judge you or roll their eyes. They will be a fantastic sounding board to practice talking about sex and sexuality. Tell them your secrets or desires or worries, and let them voice theirs, too. Allow your friendship to be a space where your sexuality is celebrated and valued, and see the kind of impact that relationship can have on how you view yourself. And if that kind of outward expression feels overwhelming, start alone: Read the book Come As You Are, listen to the podcast Sex With Emily, watch Lena Dunham’s iconic TV show Girls, and consume media that makes you feel empowered and validates your sexuality. With time, talking about it will feel less intimidating.

SG: Does the “nice Jewish boy” stereotype live on? What are they up to these days?

MS: Of course it lives on! Earlier this summer, I went to my ten-year Jewish summer camp reunion, and I’m thrilled to report that all my NJB camp crushes are still very sweet and crush-worthy. Some became stoners, and many are still “finding themselves,” but who isn’t? Living in NYC, I’m surrounded by a very specific NJB genre who all have Hinge prompts like “I’ll brag about you if I can take you home to my mom” or “I know the best spot in town for Shabbat dinner,” all seeming to be the same man in different fonts, but all equally endearing and camp crush adjacent. While I’m personally still in a phase of dating non-Jewish men because I’m afraid of commitment, it’s comforting to know that the NJBs are out there, as nice and Jewish as ever, for when I’m ready.

SG: Who are some feminist writers who have inspired your work?

MS: Feminist icons like Bell Hooks and Roxanne Gay have inspired my thinking and shaped the way I view the world (I know, I’m a basic liberal arts bitch). And it’s writers like Emily Henry, Mindy Kaling, Iman Harir Kia, and Dolly Alderton who have inspired my storytelling—their masterful blend of humor with honesty and horniness is something I’ve always strived to deliver in my own writing. PSA: If you haven’t read Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love, do yourself a favor and get on that. I’d love to write a memoir like that one day—but for now, I’m focused on creating life experiences so I have something good to write about.

SG: What never fails to make you feel confident?

MS: Writing. It may sound cheesy, but doing something that you feel good at? There’s no greater confidence boost than that. My friends make me feel confident, too. They’re the type of people who make you feel cooler and smarter just by being in their orbit. Freshly blown-out hair, a new coat of self-tan, solving the Wordle in three or fewer, getting laughs in the group chat, and getting hate from incel men—I know that when a man calls me a “feminist witch” or “sperm bucket whore” I must be living out all my wildest dreams. For me, confidence is learned, and it can also waver, but I feel it most when I’m not afraid to be the most complicated, slutty, and creative version of myself.