Tamar’s story fascinates me for its utter adult-ness: its narrative complexity, its reversals of fortune, and its unabashed consideration of sexuality and fertility.

If I were writing an academic paper, I could have talked at length about all of these themes, but for a first-person song I needed one specific moment to focus on. In writing Girls in Trouble songs, I am always looking for the place where a Torah story intersects with contemporary life. When I find this meeting place, it becomes clear to me how the experience of an ancient mythic character mirrors our own inner experiences. This is where I begin a song.

I decided that the most fascinating part of Tamar’s story, for me, was what she might have been thinking and feeling during the seduction of Judah. After all, he has twice been her father-in-law. How can he not recognize her voice, even if her face is veiled? Tamar’s plot to seduce Judah implies an intimate knowledge of his patterns and proclivities. Judah’s failure to recognize Tamar makes me think that despite their close family relationship, he hardly noticed her. 

I admire Tamar’s brave decision to take control of her future. It would have been easier and safer for Tamar to simply have lived out her life as a powerless widow, relying on the kindness of others. Instead, Tamar comes up with a wildly risky plan to rewrite her story. Although the particulars of her tale are ancient and bizarre, I believe we all struggle to balance what we are given with what we wish for ourselves. What decision will we make? When we find ourselves a desert, will we find a way to make the sky rain down on us?

I also feel that Tamar’s experience of being unseen by those closest to her is something many of us struggle with today. Those who see us every single day - our parents, partners, children, colleagues, teachers or students - are sometimes unable to see who we really are, the struggles we face, our deeper hopes and dreams.  The fact that Tamar and Judah meet at a place called “Petach Enayim,” the Opening of the Eyes, supports the idea that seeing and not-seeing is at the core of this story.

Sometimes we are unseen; sometimes we are the one who does not see. Writing this song, I thought about Tamar as an inspiration to think about the power of invisibility, how it can be an asset as well as a frustration.  But I also thought about each of our responsibility to open our eyes to the people around us.